You know you’re not a dog owner, really. Your dog, in reality, owns you. And truthfully, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Here are 10 very im-paw-tant rules your dog wants you to follow:
1. Let me inside or outside as many times as I want. And don’t complain.
2. Appreciate how many times I have saved your life. My incessant barking at a blade of grass blowing in the wind could have been a tree falling on the house!
3. If food lands on the floor, it’s mine. Don’t even think about picking it up and blowing off the dirt. Just surrender.
4. Going to the bathroom alone is never optional.
5. Do NOT come home smelling of other dogs. No matter how many times you’ve sniffed your hands or checked your clothes, I can see that guilty look ON YOUR FACE!
6. Cuddle with me at least once a day, every day. This is not a request, it’s mandatory.
7. Baths are only necessary if I smell really bad. Not a little bad. Not when I’m sticky with who-knows-what. I have to smell really REALLY bad or don’t even think about it!
8. Talk to me in the baby voice I love. Who cares if someone else is listening and gives you a dirty look!
9. Only associate with dog people. If they can’t stand to be around me then they don’t deserve YOUR (OUR) friendship!
10. Tell me I’m a good dog at least once a day. Even if you’ve said it a thousand times, hearing it again always makes me happy!