1. Walking into a classroom full of these:

And having an endless search until you find the HOLY GRAIL:

2. These medieval torture devices:

3. Mugs don’t care about you.

And even when they do no one can read your funny message to them.

4. Banks don’t care about you.

5. Ice cream doesn’t care about you.

6. Can openers exist to cause you pain:

7. Video games are unplayable.

8. Upside-down measuring tape.

9. Spiral notebooks, oooooh spiral notebooks.

10. Having to answer the question “Are you left-handed?” literally every time you use your left hand.

Every. Single. Time.

11. Crossword puzzles will never be readable.

12. Upside-down decals.

13. Binder. BINDERS.

14. Writing with a pen and having the pen cap slowly unscrew.

15. If you ever have to fire a weapon, WATCH OUT:

16. Cards.

17. Credit card swiping.

18. The zipper conspiracy.

WHY IS IT THE WAY IT IS? WHAT ARE ZIPPERS HIDING?

19. Having to find a baseball mitt in gym class.

20. Spending your entire life bumping elbows with righties.

21. Getting unnaturally excited when you see a celebrity is a lefty:

Or when you see a cartoon is a lefty:

22. Being so much smarter than righties.

23. And, of course:

SILVER SURFER HAND.